Beautifully Broken

*Inspired by "Stray Thoughts" - The Sunday Star*

The article "Broken People" on the newspaper caught my attention. It was indeed a very simple article regarding happiness and pain that got me questioning about my very own self. How many of us are actually being happy to the core? Happy here I meant - REALLY HAPPY-which is being happy without feeling broken or hurt inside-happy without any grudge. Happy of being carefree. Anyone?? If you think you are happy, think again.. Are you REALLY HAPPY about everything??

What is it exactly that makes you feel happy or content perhaps. Is it the amount of cash you have/earn or is it being with your loved ones or is it because of the sense of accomplishment that you feel??

To think of it, happiness is just a temporary phase. Most of the time, we dwell in our "long time ago in a faraway land" issue that had made us feel sad, heartbroken or angry. Just for a thought, have you let go of the fact that you have been hurt by that one person you have loved the most in your life? Do you actually want to let go ? Would you ever let go of it?

We are all actors in the theater of life. A whole lot of us are walking around with so much of grudge and disappointment in within but put up a happy front. Certain acts of people towards us will never fade in time just because we never want to let go of it. Somehow, it is a form of revenge that we seek. When people say time heals, it actually doesn't. It might take forever because we are never willing to let go of even the slightest pain someone caused us.

So, what does it really take for us to be happy to the core?? Is it even possible??

o.O

Yet to find the answer..

Relationship-An Abusive One

November 21st 2009, 630am - I received a phone call with a loud cry that said, "Hemaa, he's going to kill me!!! He wants me to die!!" and the line got disconnected. 10 minutes later, got a phone call again with the same cry and statement only with additional panting effect and the line got disconnected. I tried calling back for god knows how many times but couldn't get through. Imagine this : 630am, you're getting ready for work and you got THIS phone call from a dear friend of yours that lives about hundreds of kilometer away from you. What would you do ?? Well, I was dumb-strucked!! The failure to reach her again just added spice to that. Eventually, after a few hours, I managed to get her on the phone and I was so relieved to hear that she had managed to escape herself from death. What actually happened??

Her (ex)boyfriend which she used to live with tried to kill her by forcing her to jump into the sea just because she had left him and his other fling is leaving him as well. Not forgetting the part where she was beaten and kicked (which was the main reason why she left him) and even given just ten minutes to make her last call to whomever she wants for the very last time (in which she actually called ME). Somehow she managed to escape and made a police report which there was no action taken.

According to a survey, every 1 in 3 female is involved in an abusive relationship, be it physically, mentally or sexually. Some face death threats and some even got killed by their possessive psychopath boyfriends/husband!! In other cases, some even killed their husband/boyfriends out of self- protection. If at all you realize you are involved in any form of abusive relationship, LEAVE the fucker him for GOOD!!! REMEMBER, if he hit you ONCE, he WILL hit you AGAIN!!!! No matter how sorry he feels after hitting you and promised not to repeat it, he WILL!! Just because that's the only way he can channel his anger, frustration, and possessiveness.

You seriously need to get out of the relationship when

1. He's having flings everywhere
   
2. He keeps on calling to check where you're at
   
3. He stalks on you
   
4. He refrains you from communicating with the outside world - friends, neighbors
   
5. He limits your movement
   
6. He keeps track of the time and distance from home to the closest departmental store
7. He starts to use abusive language on you in front of others-his friends,your friends, etc
   
8. He hits you - even if its just a SLAP or a SLAM on the wall

Please don't :

1. Stay in the relationship just because he make it up to you after all the fights
2. Stay in the relationship just because your kids need a father - They will be so much better off without him
   
3. Stay in the relationship just because you have no options on where to run or what to do about your life

It's your life that you have to live with. Don't live in fear! Move out and start anew. Don't be the victim!!

And yes, after all the physical and verbal abuse my friend went through, she is now doing very fine without that fucker boyfriend. Please, leave before it's too late and Let this be a lesson for everyone to learn!!

Where Best Friends Are Made

My trip to Singapore last month was AWESOME. Went sight-seeing to so many places but ONE that will always remain fresh is the Build-A-Bear Workshop in Harbourfront, Vivo City. This place offers variety of teddy bears and stuffed animals. It's a retail store which allows you TO CREATE your own huggable companion. YES, you get to stuff your own furry friend. It features wide variety assortment of clothes and accessories designed for your new best friend.

Thylage and I got a teddy for my little sister for her birthday. They provide a few stations for the whole process of creating your best friend. These are the descriptions and some pictures taken during the whole process :

Station 1 : CHOOSE
You are to choose a furry friend to make. There's more than 30 varieties of them varying from different price. I chose the Pink Cuddles Teddy.




Station 2 : HEAR ME
You can let your furry friend do the talking by recording a Build-A-Sound message, or chose from pre-recorded sounds and songs. Super Amazing fact : They even have heart beat sound for your furry friend!!

Station 3 : STUFF ME
You select a heart, warm it in the palm of your hands, make a wish and put it inside your new furry friend. This would bring your furry friend to life and creates an unforgettable memory.



Station 4 : STITCH ME
Once your furry friend has been stuffed, hugged and given a heart, it's time to help stitch it up with the patented prelaced system. NO NEEDLES ARE USED.




Station 5 : FLUFF ME
Give your new friend the spa treatment and brush the fur




Station 6 : NAME ME
Name your furry friend and create a personalized birth certificate. This is also where your friend is registered in the Find-A-Bear ID tracking system that helps your lost furry friend to find their way back home.



Station 7 : DRESS ME
Personalize your friend with the clothes and accessories available. They even have undergarments for your friend. =)



Station 8 : TAKE ME HOME
You will walk out hand in paw with your new best friend in an exclusive Cub Condo carrying case.




Never in my life, I thought that people actually see furry friends as something precious. It's so touching to see and feel that very memorable moment that you're given a chance to actually create a life. =) =) I'm so touched!

** Some of the information are taken from the Build-A-Bear Workshop official website. **

How Many??

How many of you really mean what you say??

So much for saying "Take Care", do you really mean it?? Or has it been a formality to end a conversation??

How many of you have felt so provoked and dumbstruck that you have to act - being whom you really not??

How many of you have faked yourself and act all happy and excited when deep down you're so frustrated you are just about to break down??

So much for being sweet, how many of you have lied to your friends that they look super hot when the truth is they're not??

How many of you talk to your own self in public??

How many of you have helped a blind cross the road?

How many of you have helped an elderly stranger to carry his/her groceries??

How many of you have felt sorry for stray animals??

How many of you have talked to stray animals?

How many of you have corrected a wrong doing??

How many of you have scolded a random kid for littering regardless the parents laughing their ass off watching their kid being an uncivilized barbarian??

How many of you have struck the ultimate middle finger to a stranger just because you are pissed??

How many of you have offered hugs for strangers?

Ohh, how many???

o.O

SHE

...Lately I've been hard to reach, I've been too long on my own

Everybody has a private world, Where they can be alone...

~Beautiful by Eminem~

Just exactly how She chose to be since the past few months. Decided to be on her own - without depending on any friends. It's not that She's dependent on them in any way-NO! SHE WAS NOT.

She realized that even with so many people around her, She felt so much alone. Even when She was out with people, She doesn't feel the company around her. She only felt the loneliness of being in a world of her own.

Hence, She self-deprive herself from everyone.The people whom She had known for ages, they became her acquaintance- heck, even strangers. She barely talks to anyone but herself and her family members. It doesn't bring her anywhere but to a self satisfaction that She don't have to have any hope and expectation towards people in any way. She saved herself from disappointment in many ways.

When She was in trouble, She know She can count on NOBODY but HER OWN SELF. She work her own way to get out of the trouble She gets in. She learn from the mistakes She did. She has more strength than She thought She had. She boost her self confidence by trying the new things she had always wanted to try.

Somehow, the loneliness still crept into her at times. Someone once told her that if She continues being the way She is, She will turn out to be a bitter old woman. There's no need reminders. She knew that all along. But She couldn't care less. She only thought - She'd rather be all alone anywhere on her own than to be surrounded by people and feel all alone deep inside her. Of course, what's the big difference? It may end up to the same thing but the impact on oneself differs in many ways.

She's so used to being lonely that it's the only thing that She can rely on nowadays. And all you thought was,"She's just trying to run away from her own problem." But looks like She's doing well so far. She knows She'll get there. And She'll see you when YOU get there.

And I,

Just Because

I came across a few interesting graphics while surfing the net. Such a coincidence it suits the presence well that I've been getting feedback about myself from others. I'm not in any way trying to prove myself for any reasons but I feel that I have to clarify some things. I guess, sometimes even the closest person to you doesn't know you at all, which is the reason why I say "I know myself the BEST!!"

• Just because I always talk against the male species, doesn't mean I hate them. It's their certain attitudes that piss the shit outta me.
• Just because I'm physically small, that doesn't make me a kid!
  
• Just because I'm not excited for all the good things that's happening to you, doesn't mean I'm not happy for you. I just can't fake myself to be all happy and excited when I'm having a bad day. That's just NOT ME.
• Just because I'm being pessimistic about every good thing you tell me, doesn't mean I want things to go bad for you. I'm just being PRACTICAL.
• Just because I keep quiet for every single thing you say, doesn't mean I lose to you in any way. I just feel it's not worth arguing with an asshole like you.
• Even if you're my closest friend, I may treat you different than my other friends. The truth is, I treat every single friend of mine DIFFERENTLY.
• The more you create drama and expect me to ask questions, the more I'll ignore you. So, stop seeking for attention/sympathy because you ain't getting any from me.
  

Memories Of YOU

It has been a year since I graduated. Time flies. It has been a long time since I saw my university friends and my other friends as well. Things changed eventually. Everyone got busy - I got busy. Work is killing each and everyone of us, and so is studies. Some of my friends pursued their studies in Masters and so on. Well, I got enough of studying and got myself a job and working my ass through it. =) =) Even in the busyness of life, I always thought and remember the times I had during school and university and even now. Those were the days! Those souls I got to know, are wonderful souls that have touched me profoundly than anyone ever could. I may have not kept in touch or tell you guys about how grateful I felt to have you in my life, so this goes out to :

Pavitra : My BFF! Opposites attracts - We are the proof!! Love you for all the good and bad times we had and the times that we're going to have in time to come. =)*

Bb : You're the funniest ever! You always have the HAPPY spirit and never failed to make me laugh, or at least, SMILE. =) Love you and remember, keep that HAPPY spirit if you want more certs from me!! Muakz!! =)*

Dumz : You're a Dummy but hey, I love you for being that. For the times I needed someone to talk to, for the times we spent, thank you!! You'll always be my Dummy Mummy! =)*

Krisha : For always being yourself, I love you! =)*

LiongCL : You'll always be the VERY BEST MALE FRIEND I've ever known!!! For the things you say and do, I truly cherish the moments. The tissue you handed me during class - I will never ever forget that!! Sweet! P/s : Will you marry me?? *shy*

Rat : Farqer! For being an understanding freak of nature, for being the reactionless, ignorant person to screw me when I did something wrong, I love you. It's a gift to know you and I cherish all the days we have spent. Love you =)*

Dinz : Thank you so much for always reminding the good side of me. Sorry for being an ass towards you, but that's just me, and you know it well! No matter how ignorant I am towards you, please remember : I just want you to be HAPPY, you're always close to my heart and you'll always be my buddy!! Love u! =)*

Val : You have thought me so many things about life. It's a never ending journey that teaches us day by day, second after second. You inspire me on being strong and determined. Love you so much! =)*

Maal my Darling : *Pat*Pat* My matchmaker =) Darling Maal, you always remind me that everyone has a child in them, only to be discovered by their own selves. You make my day, always!! Thank you for those happy moments after Hameed Pata. I felt happy after a very long time! =)* Love you!

Brainy aka Joe : We're so gonna take over the world!! For being bothered about what happens to me, thank you. For making me feel important, thank you. We are born sarcastic and we shall remain so to take over the world!! Our conversations has always been a sarcastically happy ones. Thank you for being such a great soul!! Looking forward to see you this weekend =)*

Kannan - Thank you for being a nice person. Thank you for being bothered about me even when I don't seem to be bothered about the world. Thanks for comforting me when I was in pain(I bet you called me at the wrong time). But I truly appreciate it. =)

Rani : It's a pleasure to know you. For all the things I have learnt from you, thank you. For all the fun times we had in SMC, will never ever forget it. Truly cherish those moments! Love you! =)*

If I had missed anyone in particular, I'm sorry. I would love to thank all of YOU for the memories, the time we spent and the moments we shared. You're always close to my heart. By the end of the day,

~~Everything just comes down to the Memories of YOU~~